Yeah, as an American (the South, even) I can tell you that somebody angrily calling a gay couple queens if she is not herself part of the LGBTQIA+ community would not generally be something accepted here. It is a term many queer people embrace for themselves, but is still often used as a slur by an aging populace and not something a straight cis person should say.

I think it’s context dependent. If she was using the word as an insult, then, no, it’s not good. It’s fine to use it casually like if you were talking about your favorite contestant on drag race. Positively is also okay. If you referred to a man who wasn’t queer that way, they’d probably be insulted or correct you.

However, I really am not the best person to answer this question and only gave it a shot because no one else had. If she was like “those queens cut me off in traffic!” it’s better than if she was like “those men are such queens ugh” or “those queens cut me off.” The first one isn’t ideal, but it’s way better than using it as an insult.

edit: oh, whew, someone else answered, too

It’s fine when used by someone who is queer.

It’s fine when used in a friendly manner (“Yas queen!” in response to someone’s enthusiasm for something).

It’s not fine when used as a slur, like in OP’s scenario.

I’m from America, I’ve never heard of it being used in a derogatory context. i’ve heard it used in a couple of contexts, one being out of AAVE as an endearing term, usually used between women. The other being a shortening of the term drag queen, again, usually in an endearing context. I think the two uses have a link in the past as drag shows have a lot of roots in the queer African American community, but I haven’t looked that deeply in to it.

Generally I think the “it’s not ok for people outside of the group to say it” kind of terms are usually reclaimed derogatory terms or slurs, and I’ve never heard of queen being used in a derogatory sense, outside perhaps the term “welfare queen” coined by regan to disparage people who relied on various welfare programs, specifically single African American mothers. But, that context is kind of a race and class context and not where I think the term comes from even in AAVE. Could be wrong, maybe it is a reclaiming of that, but that wouldn’t really be a LGBTQ community thing.

There’s probably a different history in the UK, maybe something to do with the monarchy, but at least in American English if there is any sensitive element there, it probably links back more to African American culture than to queer culture.

I’ve been adjacent to the queer community since the '90s and have never heard this term used by anyone cishet across several states. I’ve only heard it used in either a playful or frustrated manner (the latter being along the lines of, “My boyfriend is being such a queen”).

My headcanon is that had she said it to their faces, the response would have started with, “Yeah, bitch.”

I’m not american, but from my experience with american media (including queer content creators on YT etc) I’d say it depends on context and pronunciation.

In the context you provided, spoken angrily, I’d guess it’s an insult and I have heard it like that, but it is also used in a celebratory, uplifting, empowering way.